Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
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