She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Randomize