Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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