I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
