I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
