he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
he told me I talked like a deaf person
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
