I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
