Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
