Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Randomize
