so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
