i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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