I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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