i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Randomize
