oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
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