just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
