In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Randomize
