I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
