4 words: hood of his car
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
so much tequila, so little girl.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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