Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Let's paint friendship bongs
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
