what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
