You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Randomize
