for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Randomize
