you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
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