I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Randomize