i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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