I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
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