i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
