i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Randomize
