either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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