New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
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