So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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