just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Randomize
