did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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