I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
