i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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