does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
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