I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize