he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
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