Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
