your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Randomize
