I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Randomize
