So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize
