My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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