every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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