Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
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