HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize