He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Ladies don't puke and tell
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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