when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I can't put those talents on a resume
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
