You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Randomize
