Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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