If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
