Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
