they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
My liver just had a heart attack.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
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