It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
