i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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