i barfeds in our rink
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize