from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Just invented taco cereal.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
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