Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
