HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Alive.
So much puke
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Randomize
