I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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