I need to stop coming to work sober
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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