Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
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