i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Randomize
