Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Randomize