Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
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