The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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