She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Who died my cat blue again?
Randomize
