Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
